Overcoming thoughts of suicide from narcissistic relationships
by Eric Casaccio
Every first day of the month, a new “Now Your Life” article is written. The original topic was to focus on NO CONTACT with a narcissist or toxic personality, but that subject will be postponed until next month because intuition leads me to enlighten, uplift, and bring hope to those who have had thoughts and/or attempted suicide from experiencing a narcissistic relationship. Yes, this is a dark subject, and yes, this is a bit much to take in, but due to some recent news, it is imperative to share this information to create awareness and strengthen others.
Normally, I always avoid writing in the first person, but today I am going to allow myself because I am deeply affected by a message received from a friend I love and admire. I’ve had the complete honor of working with this person closely in life coaching school and am grateful she is allowing the use of her exact text message wording to be used publicly.
It reads …
So my really good friend that was in love with your film “Narcissist” (because it helped her understand her x-husband) committed suicide on February 18th, 2017.
I was honored to be asked to speak at her memorial. That is why I had the energy cleanse. I was torn up emotionally and needed to release to be there for her family. But her ex-husband comes to the memorial and in true narcissistic fashion says to me “Wow, look at all these people! Who knew so many folks loved her. ” I am having a difficult time not directing anger towards him. *Sigh.* Just needed to release that. Love you still. Miss our conversations. You are truly a special soul.
Over the past few years, there has been less shame and more mindfulness about sensitive individuals giving their love and devotion to narcissistic or toxic personalities. With the dynamic of the caring sensitive and the narcissist, that love is often mistreated, played with, manipulated, ridiculed, used, and even abused until devalued and discarded and left with an empty horrible shell of a feeling to deal with. Other times, some are trapped in long-term marriages with no comprehension of what their situation actually is until much later and that seems to be the case with my friend’s friend.
Most likely, all of us reading this right now know the emotional state of having your self-love sucked out of your soul and spit back at you like you are worthless. Yes, we all have our part in every situation, but this woman clearly took her own life because her narcissistic husband made her feel a certain way from his own unconscious self-projection. Unfortunately, he most likely won’t take responsibility for anything and thinks of her as the “unstable crazy one”. There’s absolutely no way to prove this emotional abuse and how it leads someone to take their own life.
Not just as a life coach but also as a person, I do my best to practice positive affirmations every day and firmly believe that for every problem there is a solution.
Below is a diagram from an original “Now Your Life” model followed by some powerful questioning to help find answers already within.
- What would it be like to go online and Google guided meditations and apply them to your everyday life?
- Are you interested in some kind of creativity? If so, can you channel your feelings into creating something that may inspire others? If you are not sure of your creative interests, would you like to research a creative class you could take (acting, writing, painting, drawing, clay making?)
- Are you currently part of an exercise program? If not, what would it be like to join a gym that offers a free personal training session?
- Do you currently practice yoga? If not, what would it be like to sign up for an introductory yoga class?
- Could you schedule a walk for yourself every day in an area that makes you happy?
- Would you be willing to research spiritual retreat get-a-ways online and plan something for yourself?
- What would it be like to keep a gratitude journal and write down what you are grateful for every day?
- Are you part of any self-help programs with specialties on dealing with narcissistic situations? (i.e. therapists, counselors, coaches, healers, etc.). If not, what can you do starting right now to research and find the right one appropriate for you?
- Are you aware of the 24-Hour Suicide Prevention Lifeline that is also available with online chat service as well? Direct number: 1-800-273-8255
In this complex digital world, there are plenty of outlets and support groups available at your fingertips right from your very computer on Facebook and other social media sites.
Surround yourself around others that completely understand and empathize with what you are experiencing. You can find your place with all this.
You are not alone. Always remember that.
Such a senseless tragedy and these human imposters just move on to the next feeling nothing but elation for the loss of life they caused. I too have had dark thoughts due to the insanity they cause. Yet I find myself over and over again in a relationship with these types. 2 of them I have RO against and both were sent to prison. I don’t even know what a “normal” relationship feels like anymore. I pray for a change in myself.
Very interesting that this article came through my newsfeed at this time. I’m very close to killing myself over the Narc in my life. I’m in dire financial situation and cannot move out. The date the woman in this story committed suicide is my birthday. Odd coincidence. Anyway, I just can’t take the mind games anymore. No one understands, because everyone else thinks he’s such a great guy, he puts on such a clever performance in front of others. Only revealing his true sadistic self when he is alone with me. He He is a passive aggressive narc. I am drained. I don’t want him to win, but I’m just so exhausted and sad, the things he does on a daily basis are unbelievable. I’m a shell of my former self. He refuses to say my name, or even look in my direction when I talk. He is systematically erasing me. I’m an artist, now I can barely paint. I live in the woods and walk outside and oh how I love the wildlife, that is what has saved my soul. I also walk at night with my dog because I can’t sleep. I don’t know how much longer I can cope, but I can’t bear the thougt of leaving my 3 adult children behind, and my dog and cats. He is evil and had hidden it well for so long. Now that I see him for what he is, I am being discarded like an old shoe. Is a person punished for eternity for committing suicide? Wouldn’t that be ironic? Doomed to suffer forever, because of trying to escape suffering.
I know exactly how you feel. You are not crazy and you are not alone. He is not worth it. You will only punish yourself and you will do it for eternity. Life is s gift from God: embrace it one breath at a time.
Very interesting that this article came through my newsfeed at this time. I’m very close to killing myself over the Narc in my life. I’m in dire financial situation and cannot move out. The date the woman in this story committed suicide is my birthday. Odd coincidence. Anyway, I just can’t take the mind games anymore. No one understands, because everyone else thinks he’s such a great guy, he puts on such a clever performance in front of others. Only revealing his true sadistic self when he is alone with me. He He is a passive aggressive narc. I am drained. I don’t want him to win, but I’m just so exhausted and sad, the things he does on a daily basis are unbelievable. I’m a shell of my former self. He refuses to say my name, or even look in my direction when I talk. He is systematically erasing me. I’m an artist, now I can barely paint. I live in the woods and walk outside and oh how I love the wildlife, that is what has saved my soul. I also walk at night with my dog because I can’t sleep. I don’t know how much longer I can cope, but I can’t bear the thougt of leaving my 3 adult children behind, and my dog and cats. He is evil and had hidden it well for so long. Now that I see him for what he is, I am being discarded like an old shoe. Is a person punished for eternity for committing suicide? Wouldn’t that be ironic? Doomed to suffer forever, because of trying to escape suffering.
I hope you are well. I often read peoples comments and wonder how they are now and if the made it through. It’s so hard to carry on each day when you are hanging on by a thread. Funny how similar stories are.
I have been in that dark place a few times in my life personally and I also lost my younger brother to suicide several years ago. Then I lost my older brother from heroine overdose three years ago. I spent quite a few years in therapy hoping that one day I’d be able to feel good about one thing in my life. Being close to sixty, a part of me felt my life was now hopeless. Then out of the blue, I get a message from Eric offering me some life coaching. I took him up on his offer. On my last work resume I wrote, “People don’t care what you know; they need to know that you care.” I still see a therapist once in awhile, however I accomplished a lot more during the month I worked with Eric, than I did in all the years of therapy. There are book smart people and there are people with life experience. I am more likely to be motivated by someone who I know has walked in my shoes, than by someone who got their knowledge from a book. I am sure there are a lot of qualified life coaches out there, but for anyone who has been in a narcissistic relationship or is currently in one now, please consider some life coaching from Eric. Life is way too valuable to allow someone else to steal your power over your life.